I posted on Instagram last week that I was struggling (read it here). I read this article by Adam Grant and it felt good to have a name for what I was feeling, and a small solution. I quit all social media, work, and my to do list for several days. Two days into it, I was smiling again. I felt fulfilled. Empowered. I was still living pretty much the same life, what actually changed?
In college I had a boyfriend who was all wrong for me. We fought all the time and I didn't even like him, but for some reason I stuck with him. Then during one of my classes, I had an epiphany while reading a scripture (verses 26-28 here if you are curious). I have free will! I have a choice. I am in charge. I broke up with him that night and felt so relieved. It sounds stupid, like, yes College Rachel, of course you should have known that was a choice, but I didn't see it.
This has actually happened to me so often it's sad that I'm not getting it yet. I get this list of things I have to do or this person I have to be and start to feel stuck and out of control, not realizing that I'm creating my own limits. I have a choice! This is especially true when it comes to my business. As a creative small business, I rely heavily on social media, but also feel enslaved by it and other small business tasks. I don't have set work hours, so I end up thinking about it and planning it constantly. This endless "multitasking" takes away from being fully present in the moment and keeps me living in autopilot.
At first I thought I needed a break. Like stopping everything, but that was limiting in it's own way. I don't like being unproductive--it's boring and stressful. Instead, I tried adding activities to find flow like Grant suggested in the languishing article. It worked! I realized that I was enjoying life again because I was choosing it, not dreading it because it was something I had to or should do. Here's some things I chose to do:
I've even started to reframe normal daily activities in my mind. Instead of having to make dinner, I choose to make dinner, or choose to get take out instead. It seems like a small or even stupid change, but I promise, it's working. I think exerting control over this small part of uncontrollable life will help alleviate the languishing feeling.
Hi! I'm Rachel and welcome to Citrus and Mint! Here you will find unique hand drawn illustrations for yourself or someone you love.
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