I posted on Instagram last week that I was struggling (read it here). I read this article by Adam Grant and it felt good to have a name for what I was feeling, and a small solution. I quit all social media, work, and my to do list for several days. Two days into it, I was smiling again. I felt fulfilled. Empowered. I was still living pretty much the same life, what actually changed?
In college I had a boyfriend who was all wrong for me. We fought all the time and I didn't even like him, but for some reason I stuck with him. Then during one of my classes, I had an epiphany while reading a scripture (verses 26-28 here if you are curious). I have free will! I have a choice. I am in charge. I broke up with him that night and felt so relieved. It sounds stupid, like, yes College Rachel, of course you should have known that was a choice, but I didn't see it. This has actually happened to me so often it's sad that I'm not getting it yet. I get this list of things I have to do or this person I have to be and start to feel stuck and out of control, not realizing that I'm creating my own limits. I have a choice! This is especially true when it comes to my business. As a creative small business, I rely heavily on social media, but also feel enslaved by it and other small business tasks. I don't have set work hours, so I end up thinking about it and planning it constantly. This endless "multitasking" takes away from being fully present in the moment and keeps me living in autopilot. At first I thought I needed a break. Like stopping everything, but that was limiting in it's own way. I don't like being unproductive--it's boring and stressful. Instead, I tried adding activities to find flow like Grant suggested in the languishing article. It worked! I realized that I was enjoying life again because I was choosing it, not dreading it because it was something I had to or should do. Here's some things I chose to do:
I've even started to reframe normal daily activities in my mind. Instead of having to make dinner, I choose to make dinner, or choose to get take out instead. It seems like a small or even stupid change, but I promise, it's working. I think exerting control over this small part of uncontrollable life will help alleviate the languishing feeling.
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Hi! I'm Rachel and welcome to Citrus and Mint! Here you will find unique hand drawn illustrations for yourself or someone you love.
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