Today I was introduced to Tara Mohr through a Design Sponge article she wrote on praise and criticism. It was exactly what I needed to read at a time that I am struggling and lacking confidence on the verge of trying out a new idea. Please read the article here, or look at her website here, but here is my short synopsis: Women especially have the tendency to notice and take personally the feedback they receive. Mohr suggests separating praise and criticism from yourself by realizing that feedback is a reflection of the person giving it, and not of you. She also asked us to look for the match up. "Typically when there's a type of criticism we are really afraid of, the real issue is that deep down we believe that negative thing about ourselves."
I am lucky enough to not have received the criticism that I most fear, but I certainly always have the fear that one day I will receive it. For the most part I am a fairly confident person, perhaps bordering on the arrogant side about most everything, except for one. Which also happens to be the area of my work. I constantly have to fight the fear that I am not good enough as an artist. I am not an expert. I have no formal art training. I have no formal business training. I am making it up as I go along, therefore I am not a good as so-and-so and never will be, and I don't deserve attention. It doesn't matter how much positive feedback I get from others since this fear is deeply rooted in myself.
I think the fear stems from the fact that I am a perfectionist. I want to be the best, or not do it at all. I don't do anything until I know that I can do it perfectly because if I mess up even a little, I failed. I need to become comfortable in not being the best, but being my best, or sometimes taking the leap and finding out where it takes me. I'm where I am because of leaps that I have taken in the past, but the inadequacy still creeps up. Today is the day that this fear is going to stop.
Reading that article, and some others from her site reemphasized the need for me to follow through with this idea I will launch soon. I'm going to do it for me, and not anyone else. I'm not going to determine it's success on others but on progress within myself! If you need me, I'll be muttering "confidence" to myself in the mirror. :)
What criticisms are you most afraid of receiving? Any tips on overcoming perfectionism and self-doubt?
Hi! I'm Rachel and welcome to Citrus and Mint! Here you will find unique hand drawn illustrations for yourself or someone you love.
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